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  • Writer's pictureBecky Handley

Finding the power to be myself from a mean comment

A couple of weeks ago, my week started with me being derailed by a shitty comment about my Instagram. (If you follow me on Instagram or subscribe to my newsletter, I apologise that you are hearing about this for the 400th time.)

A delightful stranger decided to send me some unasked for advice about my Instagram account.

Apparently, it is shit and after looking at it "for a few seconds" they had no clue what it was about. I should just post my paintings and my book.

Fuck that.

Now it took me a while to get here...

On the Monday, I went into a full tailspin, thinking that they were right and my Insta was awful and I was awful.

Everything was awful.

By Tuesday, I was still feeling like shit and being mardy. I had a little cry but inspiration, fuelled by sheer defiance, was starting to take over.

I took some photographs in the bath (Oo la la, I know 🛁 but not really because I went less "I'm sexy" and more "I'm an ethereal alien elf creature".) and I put up an honest, truthful piece of writing as my caption that encapsulated how I was feeling which was mainly tired.

Tired of having to try so hard to be what I thought I should be, trying to figure out Instagram and how I could make my account perfect. trying to fit in, trying to be perfect. Trying to be anyone but myself.

It's here if you'd like a look.

The post did really well and this spurred on this need to simply be me: on Instagram, in my life, all the time. After all, my word for 2023 is AUTHENTICITY. So, I continued to post truthful, authentic posts and they have continued to do really well.

By Wednesday, I was seeing this mean comment as a blessing in disguise because I didn't want to change my Instagram. It is my space to share, create and have fun.

Not everyone has to like it. That is a-okay. They can leave or simply not bother following me. Anyone choosing instead to be mean or to try and change me, well that says a lot more about them than it does me.

I also realised I don't want to change myself.

I have lived so long watching and analysing others, trying to figure out the secret formula they have to be a better person or to be better at life. I have spent 30+ years overthinking, hiding and trying, trying, trying.

And I'm done.

I just want to live and be myself so that's what I'm going to do. 🙂



If you love my work and would like to support me, please consider buying me a brew. Or check out my Etsy or come have a chat with me on my Instagram. Thank you so much! 🖤✨🌈

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