Why are we so hard on ourselves?
This morning I checked my university emails and discovered I had got a mark back for one of my modules and I had done well. Really well. The feedback was wonderful, the mark even better.
But then, I put it into my grade calculator spreadsheet (yes, I have one of those. Don’t judge me) and discovered that because it was a module only worth 30%, it didn’t really take my grade up that much and with two grades still to come, I’m no closer to knowing what my final grade will be.
And suddenly it was as if this mark didn’t mean anything. I hadn’t succeeded because I still have to worry about these last two marks.
All my hard work only matters if the final grade I get to put on CV and LinkedIn is ‘good enough’? Is that all that matters about me? Is that all I’m worth? My final grade? No, of course not! What would I say if it was a friend saying this to me? I would, of course, tell them they'd done really well, and it deserved celebrating but, in the end, grades don't make the person. All that matters is that they worked hard, did their best and stayed true to themselves. And I need to show myself that same compassion. We all do.
I, and I imagine many other people, need to stop being so hard on ourselves and respect the hard work we’ve put in. Celebrate all the wins, no matter how big or small. And celebrate the fails, because at least you were brave enough to try, to show up, to put yourself out there.
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” – Brené Brown